~Renewed~

I woke up today feeling different. Feels like all the stress and pain had left me and I feel refreshing. Kinda feel like a different person. I got up and looked at the mirror and just stare at my reflection but I don't see my old self. I see a different me. I don't know why I feel this way, maybe I had a dream that lifted all my bad memories away all at once and now I feel like I reborned. It sound stupid but to me it feels great. I no longer think about the past, just looking forward. I am planing to get to work by 12:45 so imma get up and eat. Kinda feel like talking to someone right now but there's no one here. I don't want to call any one either or text. I guess writting all this out helps. I can pretend I am talking to someone and spread my thoughts out. In the past I feel discourge, unwanted and left out. But the real thing is I brought it apon myself. It was my lack of judgement and my stupid senc of humor that turned on me. I didn't realize it until now. So from now on I am going to change. Im going to keep my thoughts to myself. My own opinion and my stupid humor to myself and myself only. All this had brought me nothing but trouble in the past month. So imma change. On the other hand I feel like im been too nice. I need to start to say no and reject. I can't really be a nice guy all the time. I need to thing for myself. Is not always selfish doing that. Maybe because I always feel bad, and it remain me of myself back then asking for others for help. Is true, what you done in the past made you who you are and I am the perfect example. I need to losses up and be that different person I really need to be.